425AM Thursday Morning

Baby Jo asleep with Grandma Oli (my mum)

Sister Evelyn up doing homework..bless her

Why am I up?

Well first off cleaning so my guests are welcomed into a clean house. but really, its cause i can't sleep. I can't sleep because of the heaviness i feel inside. While I don't mean the post-pregnancy weight, that to is an issue that i wouldn't mind fixing.

Anyways, the truth of the matter is that..

How time goes by so fast...basically in a blink of an eye.

I remember beign 16 and naive. Going to taekwondo, school, being just me. The world ready to be conquered. the open terrain for me to explore..

but now i feel like i have backslided. I am no longer the same person i was at sixteen, though it was only three years ago. How can life just switch or change so dramatically that fast?

I'm 19 with twenty pounds over her pre-pregnancy weight ( and then some), single part time student mother of a six week old who lives at home?

I guess I'm writing this blog to write everything down like always. I thought this was a better idea since i won't be using up paper and i might save some trees while i do so....how very green of me.

Also, with baby jo in tow, i feel this urgence to protect her from everything evil and wrong in this world. Including her father which is another reason i wrote this blog..for the chance to put Jolene's life here since my life is Jolene ( i LOVE her) I'm not very fond of the idea her being around him for various reason which shall remained intombed until I find myself stronger to deal with those skeletons, but perhaps give him a glimpse of her by doing this blog and also for the few people I trust to witness it as well. Its sounds like fun.

I'll have videos and pics of our little adventures. its a very limited audience, I hope, i need to quadrouple (misspelled? janette let me know) check the security on this thing!